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Chamber Archive of Film Reviews


DIE-NER (get it?)

"Die-ner (get it?)" and yes I did get it & got it good. It's a real horror-comedy of errors,

I’ll not give the plot away too much, because I hate it when film reviews go into minute detail make you think what’s the bloody point of going to see the movie?!

Anyway back off my horror soap box.
"Die-ner (get it?)" was written & directed by Patrick Horvath,it involves the interesting problem of a sociopath killer Ken, played with nice charm & menace by Josh Grote, finding that his victims will just not lie down and play dead.
I'm good at playing dead, did it for 20 years under the mistaken assumption it would sort out my tax problems but I digress.

To me Grote has a touch of the young Jon Cusack about him, (though my Grandchildren said more Ryan Renolyds but no idea who he is)
Killer Ken stops off in a dinner in the middle of nowhere.

The pre-credits scene is a nice touch that draws the viewer in with the waitress played brilliantly by Maria Olsen, who is known predominately for her scary horror roles, showing her gentler, softer flirtatious side.

Maria Olsen @mariaolsen66 on Twitter.
kindly told me.

"Working on Die-ner was to die for: I had a wonderful time eating the pumpkin pie and the odd finger..."

The true nature of the movie becomes obvious when Ken goes on a killing spree and then is very surprised to see (though he hides it very well) that the people he’s killed start getting up and trying to attack him and even worse than that; seem determined go about their normal business too.

I loved it when Maria Olsen, as the now zombie waitress, is ringing sales in the till over & over. Makes me wonder is there any real difference to the poor waiting staff that work like zombies?

Maybe Zombies are just misunderstood & want to get on with the boring & mundane!

The movie is very well directed by Patrick Horvath, I am not too familiar with his work but I am going to watch out for him from this viewing. "Entrance" seems to be his latest movie.

Die-ner has a snappy fast paced script, lots of good one liners, the acting over all very good. The bickering couple that wander into the blood fest
Actors Parker Quinn and Liesel Kopp also do an admirable job in the film.

The one criticism I do have with the film is the flash backs of our “anti hero” of sorts Ken; jumping to his childhood. I’m sure they are in some way trying to represent something that turned him into a killer but nothing is made clear and to be honest just gets in the way of the action.

Bit of a pet hate in all modern movies, they have to explain the wise & wherfores, why can’t they just be? No one had to explain why King Kong loved Fay Wray, he just did.

But in this movie it only detracts slightly & holds up what is a marvellous low budget independent romp of a, very black humoured zombie movie. That has just got the right amount of blood and gore.

Like how the zombies are almost in the background, could be a wee bit more scary for my liking, but it is a black comedy and works very well for that, I would give it three out of five of my “buckets of blood!”

And as this has the honour of being my first review on here I should explain the system.


1 – Not good, just a drop of blood
2 – Okay – needs more BLOOD!
3 – Good – But chuck the blood dear boy!
4 – Very Good – Enough blood to keep me happy
5 – Excellent – Bloody marvellous!!!

Hope you like my irreverent reviewing style dear viewer, new to this don't plan to every be negative for negativity's sake. I always try to be constructive in any criticism.

Maybe you would like to suggest films I should review, can be independent films, in fact would prefer that & can push new talent. So any directors out there send me your work & I'll see what I can fit in. As the actress said to the bishop.

TTFN Kenny x

Maria Olsen Die-ner
Maria 148

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